Nervousness Begins

Randy and I went to the doctor this morning to see if we were ready. I did an ultrasound and I think there where 2 follicles, 9.1 and 17 mm. (he didn't confirm the 9, but he measured and said they like above 6 so I was assuming it was one.) I then got my shot to induce ovulation and was scheduled for 8:30 on Monday morning. Also, he checked my estrogen level and it was 216, and they liked 150 and above. It all sounded good I guess, but not oustanding. I honestly was hoping for at least 3 follicles in order to maximize chances. But we'll see.

After Monday, all we can do is wait. I am trying not to be pessimistic, but I am feeling down about it all. The odds are against us I know, and I just feel so lost sometimes. Maybe I am just not wanting to get any hopes up. God is in control, but that fact really hasn't made this process any easier...

Feritility Acronyms and Better Definitions

Ok - I need some fun. Two days after my HSG, I still feel like someone has punched me in the ovaries. So it's time to try and make this process a little more entertaining. Here are some of the
commonly used acronyms on any fertility blog or forum - and I want to follow with more fun terms just to make it more interesting... :)

2WW - 2 Week Wait - 2 Women Wiggin.... that's right, I said wiggin... wiggen out! And why 2? Because me and at least one other friend will be freaking out during this 2 weeks, waiting to take a test. I can't flip out on my own! Enter Breanna...

BFN - Big Fat Negative - Better Find Napkins, because the next week will most likely be spent in bed in tears wiping my nose on anything disposable... watch out Flip.

BFP - Big Fat Positive - Broke for Parenthood! This is the bumper sticker I will put on my car if we ever get pregnant. Most people go broke after they become parents, but some of the lucky few get start beforehand!

AWOL - A Woman on Lupron - I'm gonna have to use the military term - Absent Without (Official) Leave. This is the point where horomone pills have reached a maximum and the husband will dissapear for hours and not answer his phone! Apparently women with extra hormones can make for some extra mood swings...

More to come! These are just a few of my favorite ones :)

Some good news!

This morning I had my HSG to see if everything is ok with me. And good
news, it is all clear! It almost looked like te right was slightly
blocked, but the dye managed to push through the right tube. The
doctor said that if was slightly blocked, it could have helped flush
the system out. And of course, I think Breanna enjoyed watching the
screen. She has now used the phrase, I can totally see your fallopian
tubes... :). What else are friends for? So now I just have to wait
until Saturday!!

Beach balls and Strawberries...

Ok girls, (guys turn away) have you ever wondered what was worse than PMS? The bloating, fatigue, back pain - and of course the mood swings that other people claim I have. Personally, I think it is completely normal to cry if you drop a strawberry. Well now, that I have been Clomid - I get to experience this 2 times a month. Clomid works by blocking some receptors in my brain that detect estrogen. Therefore, my body produces more estrogen and ohter horomones. I have been a hot flashing beach ball with lower back pain all weekend. (luckily I managed to hold on to all strawberries.) So let's pray and hope that I won't have to move up a level to stronger medication, because I'd rather not be forced to sleep on the couch each night because Randy might lock me out of the bedroom. :) Ah, the romance of fertility treatments...

First IUI Attempt Begins...

Well, cycle day one was Monday, 6/15! You know, growing up, the thought that I would track a cycle so ferociously that I make my "Cycle day" number bigger than the actual date on the calendar - never occured to me. So not fun. However, the analytical side of me is rejoicing at my paper clipped, stapled and organized Fertility file... sigh

Ok, back to the update. I had my first appointment today with the RE (Reproductive Endocronologist) and I had an ultrasound to check to see if my ovaries were forming correctly. Well all I saw of course were 2 black spots, but apparently that was a good thing! They were my maturing eggs. So after this, the nurse gave me a schedule and lots of prescriptions. I am doing my HSG next Tuesday to make sure my inner workings all look ok. And I'll start Clomid this Thursday, followed by antibiotics, followed by another ultrasound and a "trigger shot" Saturday, 6/27. We will actually have the IUI Monday morning, 6/29. Then, from all I have read online, is the horrible 2WW. What does this mean? (Online fertility blogs have about a thousand acronyms, and one day I'll write out what they are and make up funnier names for them just for the fun of it) It is the 2 week wait... either for no period and a positive pregnancy test, or greiving and starting all over.

I keep hoping we'll be lucky, and it will work on our first try. Odds are of course against my wishful guessing, but God has done so many other things for us we never know. If I'm really gonna go out on a limb on my wishful guessing, we'd have twins on our first shot and kill those 2 birds with this expensive stone! We just have to keep praying, and not get discouraged when it is so easy to. We have to remember that we have people who love us, and that placing myself in a shell so that I can lock the world out is not the right thing to do... well, I have to remember, not Randy.

I try and remember 2 Corinthians 12:9 - 'But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.'

We all want people to think we have it all together, that we are strong. But no one does. God created us for fellowship - to love each other with His love, to help each other strengthen our own walks.