Apparently my last writing post was over a month ago. After the failure of the first IUI, I was so crushed I just couldn't make myself be witty. And if I had written, I might have made every reader want to break their own arm just to make them feel better.
Here is an update - We had our second IUI last Friday (8/21) and will know by September 4th whether or not it is successful. The good news for this cycle, I had 2 full size follicles. The bad news, our count was below 1 million, and they like 10million or more for successful IUI's. At this point, we decided to ask the question that we didn't want to ask. What is next?
As far as what our issues are, the next step would be IVF w/ICSI. I am responding well to the clomid, so they won't want to up me to injectables. And we will not do IVF. We don't even want to risk the possibility of producing more embryos than necessary that would be discarded or used for research. And with the cost at 20,000 roughly with the chance of success around 40-50 percent, we don't want to risk that kind of money. We would rather spend a little more and do adoption and be guaranteed a child!
So, unfortunately, we are already here. If this IUI does not work, we have one more shot at having our own. If that doesn't work we'll have to move on to a few other options. Two of which are embryo adoption and outright adoption. I don't know a lot about embryo adoption, but it sounds promising. It is a lot more affordable that IVF, but more expensive that IUIs. But you adopt an embryo from another IVF cycle and actually give birth to your own adopted child. It's a very neat concept.
I hate being at this point though. I hate being so close to the end of having our own child. I hate being only 2 months away from knowing they'll never have his eyes and my mouth. I know it's just another step in this grieving process, but we keep grieving more and more new losses, our limit has to be close.
