Our New Journey...

Ok, where do I start... Randy and I have been trying for a year to get pregnant with no success. I went to visit my OBGYN to do preliminary tests, just to rule out any issues. We had some tests come back that were bad enough to refer us directly to Dr. Webster, a Reproductive Endocronologist. WHAT?! How did WE get here? Of all the people I know, no one seems to want to be a mom as badly as I do. This past year of trying with no success has been so hard, but I always assumed it was something simple. No one ever thinks they'll be sitting in that conference room, waiting on a specialist to come in and speak with you. It's not a feeling I wish on anyone. My last blog was about our new battle, and this seems to be it. The likelihood of getting pregnant on our own is less than 1%, so the dream of taking that test and getting a positive sign has gone away. Our new trial is here - finding out where to go next and what God wants in our life.

Right now, here is our next step in the journey. The good news, is he is slightly optimisitic. We aren't completely out of hope, and he thinks an IUI should be successful. I have to have an HSG, in order to deteremine that everything is alright on my end. Following a good outcome of this test, they will do an IUI (Intrauterine Insemination.) It will involve Chlomide and a series of shots and a "concentrating" of Randy's, well, product followed by a pretty exact timing of insemination directly into the cervix. Just kinda takes the romance of out of it, doesn't it? It is only a 20-30% chance, but the doctor is hopeful, and it's WAY cheaper than IVF. Also, it's a natural fertilization, so Randy and I are ok with that. (We still have major reservations regarding IVF and Christianity.)

So, good news - If we do this next cycle and it's a success, we could be pregnant by the end of June.

Bad news - A minimum costs of about 1500, so it's not going to be cheap. And the success rate is not as high as IVF.

Pray for us. Pray that Christ will give us peace during this trying time. Pray that we can seek His guidance, and know to follow it where He wants us to go. We know more than most people that He has our plan already, we just have to seek it... and of course fight discouragement when it isn't what we think it should be.

Spoke too soon?

It's amazing at how quickly life can change. Not a few days after our last blog - on overcoming enormous mountains through Christ - we've actually hit a larger mountain. Ironic, isn't it? Less than a week after our graduation celebration, we seem to have been plunged into a much deeper, much more painful hole. I don't want to give any details yet until more confirmation, I just want those who see this to pray for us. We will be needing it in the near future. I just want to post a song helps give us strength when we so desperately need it.

I was sure by now,God,
that You would have reached down

and wiped our tears away,

stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say amen

and it's still raining

as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain,

"I'm with you"and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm

and I will lift my hands

for You are who You are

no matter where I am

and every tear I've cried

You hold in your hand

You never left my side

and though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I remember when

I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to You

and raised me up again

my strength is almost gone

how can I carry on

if I can't find You

and as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

and takes away

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

the maker of heaven and earth

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

the maker of heaven and earth

God Bless...

Moving Mountains

CONGRATULATIONS RANDY!! He graduated Friday night from LSU and is now a Forester. This event in so many ways proves that God has a plan even when we can't see it. Well, correction, even when we can't IMAGINE it. Here is our story:

March 2006: Randy's unit was activated, and he was to go Germany in May. I was in my junior year at Mississippi State, planning to graduate May of 2007. We had been friends for so long, but only officially dating since January. We were thrust into one of those "make or break" you situations. We were young, and of course, a little afraid. I had 2 previous long distance relationships that left that oh so sour taste in my mouth. We, or me, decided it was best to go back to friends. As hard as it was, we seemed no other way. I would finish my last year while he was activated, and he would finish his tour with 2 more years of school. I didn't know where I would work - what his Air Force future was - all we could see was dark at the end of the tunnel. So we chose the easy option - heartache with healing.

So here came May, he leaves for Germany. All of a sudden, we realized we had no choice. We were supposed to be together, there was no other way. When logic didn't explain any of this (and trust me, this wasn't easy for an Engineer) we finally realized to trust God. We were going to be married, and it was going to work itself out. It was so certain and so clear. We started looking for engagement rings.

As we plan the wedding, I am job hunting around Starkville. This way, he could finish school at MSU while I was working. So many let downs with no success. I get a great offer from Dow Chemical in Baton Rouge, and we decide to take it. We then proceeded to try and get him into LSU for a transfer, so he could finish school in the Bayou with me. He was denied the first time around. We appealed with a written essay and recommendations from a base Major as to why he should be accepted. Denied again, our 3rd heartache. We finally accepted that he was going back to Mississippi State. God brought us that far, he would take us through this. Even though we tried to get located together, it never worked. We didn't turn to God when we should have. When we accepted this was what God had planned, there came that peace again! We found him somewhere to live, we even told his Boy Scout troup he was coming back. It was ok, because God was in control, and if we had to spend the first 2 years of our marriage in different states God had a reason. Curve ball 3 ---->

The day of our Wedding rehearsal, driving to pick up a bridesmaid at the airport, Randy receives a call. It was LSU, just wanting to let him know that he was accepted and would be receiving his welcome package soon. That was it! The appeal was sent to the Dean of the school, and he was let in. What a fantastic wedding present! We spent most of the next few days in shock. After accepting God's will, God opened our path. After spending a year and a half looking down a black tunnel, God poured His light into our lives so quickly it took our breath away. And He was not done - after moving to Baton Rouge and beginning work, Randy was preparing to start school. We were saving and taking out loans to pay our out of state tuition, having not set up residency for at least a year. They requested my work verification, and the next day, his out of state tuition was dropped! Without so much as a notification!

So now here we are, 3 years after the journey began. May of 2006, we were separating, heartbroken at his activation. Now he has gradauated from LSU and applying for an Air Force Commision. We've been married for 2 years and have been together the entire time! When life has seemed so hard and dark, with mountains blocking our path - God has revealed to us that He has a beautiful plan. When we are blindfolded and can't even SEE the mountain to move it - Christ sees for us, and opens our path according to His will

Tithing and Christians in need...

Ok, interesting perspective raised today in Sunday School. God calls on us to tithe our first 10%, then we follow with offerings afterward.

Malachi 3:10 - Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if i will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."

We were discussing why almost 20% of Christians do not tithe at all. A woman in class, who is not in our normal class said this - (completely paraphrasing also!) Her class knows how she feels, this has been discussed previously, but if she has a family member or a friend that is in need, and they are a brother or sister in Christ, she will give to them and put that in front of her tithe. This question has arisen in my mind before. If we give 10% to Christians in need, people in the will of God, should this come before tithing? Our 10% is an offering, to give to the church was God has given us. Should we tell our family and friends in need no, if we cannot do both?

This perspective has never been brought to my attention before, so any discussion is welcome!

God Bless...